Disengaging from Distractions

Smartphone_AddictionSteve and I went on a romantic getaway back in April to visit Asheville, NC. If you’ve never seen this majestic town, you really should. Asheville is nestled in the heart of the Blue Ridge Mountains and is known for some of the most beautiful scenery around. It was our first time staying at a bed and breakfast, and it certainly won’t be our last. What an amazing experience waking up in this quaint manor home for breakfast each morning!

The first morning we were there we were like little kids who couldn’t wait to see what Santa brought them. We jogged down the grand stair case and made our way out to the expansive front porch that was already occupied with other guests sitting at small bistro tables awaiting their gourmet breakfast. Sitting at our small table for two, we marveled at the fresh cut flowers in the small crystal vase, the pleasant music piped in over the speakers, and the glorious smell of Nutella stuffed crepes. Steve and I just sat there and soaked it all in as we relished this precious time together.

As I sat there, however, I began noticing who our neighbors were at the adjacent tables. There was an older couple to our left eating and not talking. Then beyond that couple sat a younger couple, who, we figured out later, were staying in the honeymoon suite. Behind us and further up the porch sat a couple closer to our age. One thing they all had in common: they were all absorbed into their smart phones the entire breakfast. Yes, even the honeymoon couple.

That truly saddened me. Yes, I love my phone and I am on it more than I should be. But, I know what it means to truly value time with Steve and my phone isn’t part of that scenario. Well, I did pull my phone out to take photos of the food, which is cheesy, but the display on that plate was just gorgeous and worthy of a photo! Regardless, I wanted to talk to my husband, listen to my husband, and be with my husband. None of those things involve my phone – or, at least, it shouldn’t.

In today’s technology ridden society, could it be that we have lost touch with the human experience of conversation, eye contact, and true physical engagement? I hope this isn’t the case, but the more I look around me, the more I see smart phones distracting us from human contact. This can be harmful to any relationship – especially to a marriage. Since this trip I’ve made it a point to look around at restaurants and make note of who is conversing and who is on their phone. I was blown away at the number of people who spent most of their time out to dinner with someone engaged in their phone instead of engaged with the person sitting across from them.

I propose that we disengage from the distractions of the handy little device we carry around everywhere we go. Just put it down. Charge it. Put it on “do not disturb.” Whatever it takes to make us look up and engage the humans around us, especially our spouses. Make eye contact. Smile at them. Listen to them. Talk to them. Laugh with them. Our relationships can only get better if we do.