Our pastor is doing a sermon series right now called “God Isn’t Fair . . . and that’s a Good Thing” – when I ran across this article I thought of that title and figured it correlates pretty well. Click HERE to read an article called “The Fuzzy Math of Marriage” that discusses the “unfair” in marriage and how we need to look at this differently. It’s a funny article, kind of tongue-in-cheek in places, but at its core is a great message for all marriages.
This article reminds me of a very important chapter in our book study from the fall – the difference between a “contract” and a “covenant” marriage. So often we have the “you owe me” attitude with our spouse based on what we deem as our contribution to the marriage/household and what we expect in return from our spouse. For instance, I do the laundry so I expect him to do something in return. Or, he mows the lawn so he doesn’t see why he should help me with other landscaping because he sees what he already does as enough. That, according to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, is a “contract” marriage.
The “covenant” marriage is so different (and BETTER). In a covenant marriage, you do the laundry because it needs to be done. He will mow the lawn and help with landscaping when asked because he wants to help his wife. I make lunch for my husband each morning before work because I want to, not because he asked me to. I thank him for things he does around the house and he thanks me. It is a “servant” relationship – not as in “slave” but as in a person who willingly serves those they love out of a true desire to bring them joy and put their needs first.
So, we give, we take, we struggle. But, yes, I do believe the odds are ever in our favor :).