My husband shared an article with me a while back on the “Nothing Box” that lives inside of men’s heads. He emailed me the link and said simply “Now you know . . .” I laughed so hard when I read the article I about fell over. It was SO true! And, it made ridiculous sense when I read it as far as why men and women think differently. I think the article was based on this video, which is worth the watch:
Absolutely everything going on in my head is tied together and is also dripping with some type of emotion. My husband, on the other hand, can not only focus on just one thing at a time, but he can also look at things sans emotion. Honestly, I’m not sure I could do that if I tried (sometimes, I wish I could).
Can you see, then, how communication in marriage could be one of the toughest obstacles to overcome? If we think completely differently, then how do we communicate effectively? I think one good step is simply realizing that we ARE different (and appreciating those differences). After reading that article I better understand why my husband gets flustered when I talk with him about things – I can literally jump from one issue to the next and back again with ease. Meanwhile, he’s still back on the first issue trying to get that sorted out so he can close that box and focus on the next issue. Likewise, he now knows that one box for me is also directly connected to several other boxes and it’s not a simple matter in my heart or mind. He is patient as I look at all facets of the issue and lets me bring feelings into the matter even though it isn’t something he, himself, is dealing with. We even joke about our “boxes” at times and I can always tell when he’s in his “nothing” box ;).
Guys, sometimes we just need to relax and realize that we are different beings. Even within the genders we are very different people. Although I can’t relate to a “nothing” box, I wish I had one and I appreciate that my husband needs to visit his often. And, he has told me that he appreciates that I can juggle so many open boxes at once and he even marvels at my ability to keep the home running so well. Together, we make a good team! I bet in your marriage, you do too!