When our daughter was 2-years-old, and we’d been married around 5 years, my husband and I purchased a time share (points with Wyndham). Now, before you roll your eyes, I promise you I am by no means going to promote time shares so stick with me and I will get to the point soon. Anyway, we purchased some points and, for the first time in our marriage, we were almost forced to vacation every year. This was foreign to us and I remember not really knowing what to do with ourselves when we had a whole week together. This was something we didn’t have the money to just up and do, especially at these super nice resorts. And, after 11 years of purchasing more points and vacationing more, we have realized that these getaways could have very well saved our marriage and helped us build a stronger tight-knit family.
Now I am NOT saying that a time share did this – it was the “getaways” that did it. Having that trip to look forward to has meant the world to my husband and me AND to the kids. If I were to be brutally honest, I’d say that the “alone” trips that my husband and I have taken literally were salvation for our marriage in many ways. That time to just be together and explore a new town, beach, mountain, lake or whatever took on the role of healer in our relationship. Without the distractions of work, family, or any other issues plaguing your marriage you are better able to just focus on each other. Here is the latest blog post on the MarriedPeople site that pretty much says the same thing (click HERE to read this post). Yea, I get it! I totally get what this blogger is saying and I would encourage anyone to make those plans and have something to look forward to.
I know some of you are saying out loud that this is not feasible for you – you don’t have anyone to watch the kids, you don’t have the money, you don’t feel comfortable leaving your kids, etc. I get it . . . I really do. I’ve been in your shoes, but I also know the flip side of those excuses which is a marriage that continues to become a series of “do this and do that and then do this again” – that is certainly not what we want with our life-long partners. Even if you just get a hotel room downtown (we’ve done that!) and do dinner and a show and just stay one night away. Or, one year my husband and I had no money so we drove down to my parents house in South Carolina and stayed there the weekend while my parents stayed at our house with the kids. We got “away” to a free little house with no distractions for a weekend. It was awesome and cost us nothing!
Just consider it – consider how you can create that something to look forward to with your spouse. Perhaps it’s not a “getaway” but more like a “date.” Whatever it looks like, just do it. Your spouse and your marriage are worth it! Oh, and hey, I’d love to hear how creative you get with this so comment on how you and your spouse find that “look forward to” moment, trip, or date!